James Milsom

Today I forgot an appointment. They called me, of course, as all good places where people have appointments do, and the moment the number popped up on my phone I remembered what I had forgotten. Naturally, I didn't answer the call. The chill of anxiety radiated through my every atom.

If you’re looking for a good time* call 0456 426 599. *Please note that my definition of good time may differ from yours. For me, a good time includes each of the following: * you using good grammar and not mixing metaphors; * me correcting you when you use bad grammar

There are few methods of social ranking more stringent than the school reunion test. There is no better way for one to gain the measure of oneself than being assessed against the other people with whom one happened to be enrolled in secondary school at roughly the same time. That

This is an excerpt from a self help guide to being an attractive teenage boy. Naturally, given the extreme creepiness and legal issues associated with writing such a book, I will not be writing the book, save for this excerpt. At the beach, there are two types of teenage boy.

These are the rules of the sophisticated social interaction known herein as the man challenge. 1. Definition: a ‘man challenge’ is when a man looks at another man, and the other man looks back at the first man (ie the eyes of the two men meet). 2. Definition: ‘another man’

(a scene from a police procedural TV show that is not real) INT. LECTURE THEATRE. DAY. THE head of Hutchison ‘Hunch’ Hinchcliffe pops out from behind a lectern at the front of an empty lecture theatre. Empty, that is, aside from a forensics team surrounding a body on the floor.

I'd like to acknowledge the following organisations for their support, whether indirect or direct, express or implicit, benevolent or malignant: * Alternate Prayer Network * Training bra anti defamation league * Pillow Recycling Research and Development Network * Coles Myer Minority Shareholders * Centre for Excellence in Inexplicable Stains * The Associated Hyperbaric Chamber Owners of

It was almost the ultimate, masculine, grown-up interaction. I stood when she entered the restaurant. I drew her chair from beneath the table, then slid it gently back in as she sat down. I ordered a big piece of meat and a little piece of carbs. I told a story

When I’m looking after my children, sometimes I try to do too much. I keep up with work emails, I cook the dinner, all while entertaining and playing with them. And it always effects my mental health. In the bad way. But now I just focus my mind on

A man in an impressively pressed frock spoke first. 'We are gathered here today, to join these two people in holy-' The bride and groom were nervous, but they needn't have been. This was to be the perfect union. Everyone agreed. Except one guy. The one guy interjected. 'Hehhemmmm', he